Salam hemmeler!! Saglyk amanlyk hemme zat gowlukdyr diyip umyt edyan. Azajyk gulayelin diydim. Sonky dowur shu amerikan anekdotlaryny kop eshidyan. Barde-de paylashyp gitmek umydy bilen!! Sizem paylashybermeli.
P.S
Erbet zady terjime etmane yaltanyan we sho durshuna goyyan! Dushunyanler, halys gyzykly diyip pikir etseler, uyshup turkmencha owurerisda, we sheylerak..
Jimmy is in math class when the teacher asks him a question:
"Jimmy, if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot one with your gun, how many are left?"
"None," replies Jimmy, "because the others would be scared by the noise."
"Well, no, the correct answer is 4, but I like the way you're thinking!"
"I've got a question for you, teacher," says Jimmy.
"If there are 3 women sitting in a shop eating ice cream cones, and one is licking her cone, one is biting her cone, and one is sucking her cone, which one is married?"
The teacher gets a little nervous and finally answers, "I say the one sucking her cone."
"Well, no, the correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
I guess it would be better if we won't translate it
ok..
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.
Your singing better than any anecdote
I'm kidding
Teacher: Billy, name five things that contain milk.
Billy: Butter, cheese, ice cream, and um... two cows!
Napoleon was involved in conversation with a colonel of a Hungarian battalion who had been taken prisoner in Italy. The colonel mentioned he had fought in the army of Maria Theresa. "You must have a few years under your belt!" exclaimed Napoleon. "I'm sure I've lived sixty or seventy years," replied the colonel. "You mean to say," Napoleon continued, "you have not kept track of the years you have lived?"
The colonel promptly replied, "Sir, I always count my money, my shirts, and my horses - but as for my years, I know nobody who wants to steal them, and I shall surely never lose them."
Islam, karaoke video in Facebook is super :)
A little boy asked his father,''Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?
And the Father replied: ''I don't know son,I'm still paying''.
haha ay masgara bolduk)) i might even become very famous with that karaoke there)))
Построил прапорщик взвод солдат и говорит:
- Мне поручено провести с вами беседу о новых видах боевой техники. Наши конструкторы разработали новый танк, выдерживающий температуры от -300 до +300 градусов по Цельсию.
Один из солдат поднимает руку:
- Товарищ прапорщик, разрешите спросить?
- Спрашивайте, рядовой!
- А вот физики говорят, что температуры меньше -273 градусов Цельсия не бывает. Как же так?
- Ну...танк же секретный! про него физики могли и не знать!
Продает грузин на рынке сало, подошел мужик, отрезал и попробовал:
- М-м-м, какое вкусное, чем свинью кормил?
- Хлебом кормил - с гордостью говорит грузин.
Мужик достает корочку ОБХСС:
- Хлебом кормить нельзя, штраф.
Отдал грузин штраф, стоит злой на всех. Подходит другой мужик.
Отрезает сало. Пробует:
- М-м-м, какое вкусное сало. Чем свинью кормил?
Грузин со злостью:
- Дерьмом кормил!!!
Мужик достает корочку работника санепидемстанции:
- Дерьмом кормить свиней нельзя, платите штраф.
Отдал грузин деньги, еще злее стал. Подходит третий мужик, пробует сало:
- М-м-м, какое вкусное сало. Чем свинью кормил?
- Чем кормил, чем кормил!!! Ничем не кормил!!! Деньги давал, а он сам кушать ходил!
(Arasynda biraz ýürek bulanjy sözem bar welin,,,)
Aýaly dynç alyp ýören ýerinden adamsyna jaň edýär: - Kakasy, sag-aman otyrsyňyzmy? Çagalarym, öý-içeri saglykmy? O meniň eý görýän pişijegim nähili? - Ol-a öldi. - Waý, ýene sen şol gödekligiňi edýäň-dä. Sen şol habary maňa sypaýylyk bilen aýdyp bileňokmy? Meselem, “Ol jaýyň üstüne çykdy. Soňam şol ýerden aşak gaçyp ýogaldy” diýip bolýar-a. Ýeri bolýa-da, onda ejemiň ýagdaýy nähili? - Olam ýaňy jaýyň üstüne çykyp barýardy!
An Arab Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:"Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."Sometime later he gets a million dollar cheque from his fa…ther, saying:"Stop embarrassing us any more, go and get yourself a train too!"
Galtamanlar çölde gidip barýan bir aýal maşgala bilen erkek adamy tutupdyrlar. Onsoň galtamanlaryň başy aýaldan sorapdyr
-Adyň näme?
-Hatyja
-Hmm... sen meniň aýal doganymy ýatlatdyň, bolmasa öldürjekdim. Göýberiň muny!
Onson erkege öwrülip soraýarmyşyn
-Seň adyň näme?
-Obada Myrat diýen bolýalar, ýöne ol ýalan adym. Çyn adym Hatyja
diýen bolýamyş :D
One day 3 people were stuck on an island with cannibals.
The cannibals said, "If you do what we say, we won’t kill
you". So the 3 people followed the orders from the
cannibals.
The cannibals said, "Go into the forest and pick 10 pieces
of the first kind of fruit you see".
So the first person came back out of the forest with 10
apples. The cannibals said, "Stick the apples up in your ass
without making a facial expression". The person then
frowned in pain after the second apple, so the cannibals
killed him.
The second person came back out of the forest with 10cherries. The cannibals said, "Put the cherries up your ass
without making a facial expression". The person then
started laughing on the tenth cherry, so they killed him.
In heaven, the person with apples asked the person with
cherries "why did you start laughing at the tenth cherry?
You were almost there". The person replied, "I saw the
third person come out with pineapples."
Evin hanımı gece yarısı uyanır ve kocasının yatakta olmadığını
farkeder. Yatakta…n kalkar ve kocasını mutfakta bulur. Koca dalgın-dalgın kahve içmektedir ve aklı cok uzaklardadır. Üstelik gözlerinden yaş gelmektedir.
"Ne oldu sevgilim?" diye sorar kadın.
"20 yıl önceki ilk buluşmamızı hatırlıyor musun?" der adam.
"Tabi" der kadın.
"16 yaşındaydın o zaman. Arka koltukta sevişirken baban basmıştı bizi".
"Evet hatırlıyorum."
"Babanın silahını yüzüme dayayıp -ya kızımla evlenirsin ya da 20 sene
hapiste yatarsın- demesini de hatırlıyor musun?"
"Hatırlamaz mıyım..."
Adam yanağındaki gözyaşlarını silerek:
"Biliyor musun, bugün hapisten çıkmış olacaktım..."